Brit ceremonies are a way for parents to express their wonder and gratitude at the birth of a child. Our clergy can advise you on the ceremony, which marks the bringing of sons or daughters into the brit (covenant) of Israel. Baby namings are another popular way of celebrating a birth and introducing your newborn graciously into the community.

The covenant of circumcision is one of three covenants mentioned in the Torah. The others are the covenant made with Noah in which God promised never to destroy the world again with a flood and the covenant made at Mt. Sinai in which God promised to protect the Hebrew people if they would obey God's commandments. The meaning of the word "bris" (or "brit in Sephardic Hebrew) means "covenant." The full name of the ceremony is "brit milah" which means "the covenant of circumcision."

The bris is always held on the eighth day of the baby's life, even if that day happens to be Shabbat or a Jewish holiday. A bris can even be held on Yom Kippur. The day of the baby's birth is counted as the first day, so the bris always occurs on the same day of the week as the baby's birth. If he was born on a Monday, then the bris will be the following Monday. Since the Jewish day begins at sundown, a baby born after sundown on Monday would have his bris the following Tuesday. The only time a bris can be postponed is if the baby is too weak or too sick to endure the procedure.

The person who performs the bris is known as a mohel. This person is an observant Jew who has been trained in the surgical techniques and proper hygiene for performing the operation. The person who holds the baby during the ceremony is called the sandak. During the bris, there is a blessing over wine. The baby is given his Hebrew name and receives blessings for a life of Torah study, a good marriage, and for performing good deeds. At the bris, a chair for Elijah is designated. The bris usually ends with a joyous reception or meal.

The Consecration service is a Reform innovation to mark the beginning of a child's education. It was based on an old custom of celebrating a child's first day of education and also serves as a parallel to Confirmation. Since Confirmation traditionally was celebrated on Shavuot, Consecration was traditionally held on the last day of Sukkot (Simchat Torah).

Simchat Torah was an appropriate time to initiate children into religious school because it was a joyous celebration when the Torahs are carried around the synagogue. The first graders participated in the procession. After the Torah readings from Deuteronomy and Genesis, the children were called up to the bimah for a special blessing.

This practice is based on Moses' commandment to the priests and elders of Israel at Mt. Sinai. Today, in many Reform congregations, Consecration is not held on Sukkot, but some other time in the fall near the beginning of the school year.

When a child becomes a Bar or Bat Mitzvah, he/she symbolically leaves childhood and joins temple life as an adult. The ceremony itself is the celebration of a beginning, as the child starts to take responsibility for his/her own Jewish identity. Temple Emanu El's reputation for unique and moving B'nai Mitzvah ceremonies is widespread. Your entire family is invited to participate, which creates a cherished and memorable experience.

Bar Mitzvah is a ceremony to mark a boy's "coming of age" in the Jewish community. "Bar Mitzvah" means "son of the commandment." At age 13, according to Jewish tradition, a boy becomes a man and is entitled to the privileges of reading the Torah publicly, saying the Torah blessings, wearing tallit, and being counted in a minyan. These privileges are bestowed automatically to any Jewish male upon reaching the age of 13. A Bar Mitzvah ceremony, however, indicates that the boy has received the religious training necessary for performing these rituals.

Historically, the Bar Mitzvah ceremony is a "recent" innovation. It is not a Biblical or Talmudic practice, but rather developed in the thirteenth century to mark the day that a boy was called to the Torah for the first time. In some communities, the boy also marked the occasion by delivering a speech. Afterward, some refreshments were served.

Over time, the ceremony has been extended in some communities to allow the boy to read the Haftorah portion and also to conduct some or all of the service. In addition to receiving the adult privileges of Judaism, the Bar Mitzvah makes a commitment to continue his Jewish studies throughout his lifetime. The word "Bar Mitzvah" is a noun. One "becomes a Bar Mitzvah;" one is not "Bar Mitzvahed."

Bat Mitzvah

The first Bat Mitzvah ("daughter of the commandment") ceremony was held in 1922 when Rabbi Mordecai Kaplan (the founder of the Reconstructionist movement in Judaism) called his daughter up to read from the Torah at a Shabbat service in New York. The ceremony slowly gained in popularity, especially within the Conservative movement, and today is commonplace in most Conservative, Reconstructionist and Reform congregations. Some Orthodox congregations mark a girl's coming of age. However, since most Orthodox congregations do not allow a girl to read from the Torah, the service is not as significant as the Bar Mitzvah ceremony. The Bat Mitzvah ceremony can be held as early as age 12 for a girl.

Confirmation, which is celebrated at the end of tenth grade, takes place on the spring festival of Shavuot. Our young adults stand symbolically at the foot of Mount Sinai to receive the commandments as they reach this milestone in their Jewish education.

The Confirmation service is a group service to mark graduation from religious school (usually in the tenth grade). Traditionally, Confirmation is held on Shavuot, when Israel received the Ten Commandments. Today, many congregations hold Confirmation at some other time in the late spring, at the end of the school year.

The Confirmation ceremony began in the early 19th century as the German Reformers' answer to Bar Mitzvah. The Reformers wanted to make girls on a par with boys in terms of religious education. They also believed that 13 was too young of an age to consider a person an adult.

There is no standard service for Confirmation. Usually the students participate in the service and then present a dramatic or musical performance or read speeches. The Confirmation service today is held by most Reform and Conservative congregations.

Our clergy counsels couples on preparing for their life together and officiates over this intimate, festive and reverent occasion. Couples may be honored by being called to the bimah in the presence of family, friends and congregants on the Shabbat prior to their wedding at an Auf Ruf.

Marriage is a mitzvah in Judaism. Marriage is viewed as the natural and preferred lifestyle of an adult. In the very beginning of the Book of Genesis, God says, "It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a fitting helper for him." (Gen. 2:18) Just a few lines later the Torah states, "Hence, a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, so that they become one flesh." (Gen. 2:24). Marriage is the best way for man and woman to fulfill the first commandment of the Torah: "Be fruitful and multiply." (Gen. 1:28) The Talmud reiterates the Biblical passages: "Any man who has no wife lives without joy, blessing and goodness." (Yevamot 62b) The rabbis also said, "No man without a woman, no woman without a man, and neither without God." (Midrash Bereshit Rabbah 22:4)

Prohibited Days
There are certain days of the year when Jewish weddings are forbidden:

1. On Shabbat and the Festivals (because some features of the ceremony, such as signing the ketubah, violate the laws of Shabbat and the Festivals).
2. During Passover and Sukkot (because of the prohibition of mingling two joyous occasions).
3. In different communities, marriages are forbidden on some or all of the days between Passover and Shavuot.

For Jews, the tradition of mourning is based upon respect for those who have died and those who are grieving. At such times of loss, your spiritual leaders and entire congregational family are here for support and comfort. Temple Emanu El maintains a section at the Hillcrest Memorial park.

Judaism has a realistic view of death. Death is seen as a natural part of life. "For dust you are and to dust shall you return." (Gen. 3:19) "The end of man is death." (Talmud, Berakhot 17a).

Time of Burial
Burial should take place as soon as possible after death. Traditionally, burial takes place within 24 hours. However, in modern times this time has been extended to allow relatives who live in other cities to arrive. Funerals should not be held on Shabbat or on the first day of a Jewish festival.

Funeral Service
The funeral service is usually conducted by a rabbi, but this is not a requirement. The service consists of a eulogy delivered either by the rabbi or a relative or friend. Prayers and psalms are also recited. The casket is closed throughout the funeral.

Burial Laws and Customs

Cremation
Cremation is not customary in Judaism. The reason is that the body should be intact when the messiah comes to resurrect the dead.

Autopsies
Autopsies are frowned on out of respect for the deceased.

Flowers
It is not customary to send flowers to a Jewish funeral. Instead, tzedakah should be given in memory of the deceased.

Shivah
Mourners stay at home for the first seven days after a funeral. During this week they say prayers and are visited by friends. Traditionally, mourners sat on low stools during this period. Shabbat is not counted as one of the days of shivah.

Kaddish
It is customary to recite kaddish for a parent for eleven months after death. If the deceased had no children, then kaddish should be recited by another relative.

Unveiling
The unveiling (dedication) of the tombstone is usually done near the end of the first year after death.

Yahrzeit
The anniversary of the death of a loved one is observed by lighting a 24-hour candle, making a tzedakah contribution, and saying kaddish at Shabbat services.

Afterlife
Jewish views of the afterlife are vague. However, there is a general consensus that there is a world-to-come (olam haba).

In celebration of milestone birthdays and anniversaries, you may be honored to perform the candle lighting and/or Kiddush ceremony or recite a Torah Blessing. Our clergy would love the opportunity to bless you on these milestone occasions.

Interest in conversion is warmly welcomed and is taken very seriously at Temple Emanu El. Following an extensive period of study with a Rabbi, this warm and moving ceremony, which may be private or public, is held in the sanctuary before the open ark.

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